What Yuvraj told the Lankans

A very emotional and tearful Yuvraj, who is in a trance and has sunk to his knees because he cant believe that it actually happened, is vigorously shaken back into reality by madman Sreesanth.

He looks up, looks around, still dazed, and sees the Lankans walking up to him to offer their customary and totally fake congratulations.

Following are his responses to the Lankan players.

To Sanga: "Dude! You saw that? That bastard promised me he'd let me hit the winning runs. This is how he gets back at me for screwing him over that bitch. And she left me, too. Anyway, well played dude. Better luck next time. Who's next? "

Murali: He realises the cameras are pointed at him now. He gains his composure and puts up a sincere effort and says, "Well played mate. Hard luck. Sadly, there's no next time for you. Oops!"

Randiv: "Who? You played today? Anyway, I rock, dude! I mean, India rocks! Go, get me some water. "

Malinga: "The newly created Yuvraj Marg in Mohali is very crowded in the mornings from 8 to 11. Your services are required there. Please to be attending to it." Dilshan: "You have 4 more years to perfect the scoop. You might have to buy a different sari this time. The other one was seen with Misbah, who clearly hasnt gotten over that shot yet. He was last seen with the sari, muttering something, of which i only heard Sreesanth and Ch****. Not sure if that was a single sentence though. But i have heard them being used together somewhere. The last press conference by Dhoni, was it? No, you say? Ah! yes, Dhoni is rather refined in his public appearances. Oh yeah, It was after Sreesanth's first spell today. The captain is glad he doesnt have to resort to euphemisms. No one will question him this time. Viru might still say something."

Random rant

After more than a year of nothingness on this space, (only for people to see. I composed many rant drafts and dint publish them on purpose. I deleted them all, for good), i push myself to go for it today.

The paragraphs are most likely to be completely unrelated to one another. Sorry about the absolute randomness.

I went through a phase of nothingness, an utterly unispiring phase, where i lacked the will, energy and motivation to do anything. Just anything. Now that i am out of it, all hyper and wanting to do something, i realised i am rather unaffected by the choices i have. I want to do something, i have the options, but i am not all too inspired to do them.

The things i want to do:

--Learn a sport: I picked tennis, purely because there is a new academy very close to my place. But, I am finding it rather difficult to wake up early and take my lazy ass to the court. Might not last long.

--Join music classes: I envy people who can sing songs the way they are meant to be. Music inspires me. And i can appreciate it. Only, people dont appreciate my appreciation of it. A formal training could help. Or not. I should find out.

--Learn a new language: I picked German, because it was an easy choice. Not the language, that might not be easy. Only the choice of language was. Then suddenly, i wanted to learn sanskrit. And this time, i want to learn it properly.

--Join dance classes: Not classical dance. But some general bollywood dance types. I tried my hand (or should i say feet :P) at this once, but it dint work out too well. This time, the dance instructor dropped out even before i did. Not my fault, i tell you.

--Join art classes: I want to try my hand at sketching, and a few other things.

All these require me to thaw my frozen lazy ass. I am not making any effort at this. I know I should.

I blame my lack of energy on hypothyroidism. Or hyper. Dont know which one. I should get tested and hope i have one of those, for i shall have something to blame my lethargy on.

There is one thing i know is rather innate. Hyper or hypo, thyroid levels have nothing to do with it. I am a compulsive procrastinator. I dont need a reason to not reply to an e-mail right away. In fact, most times, i dont have one. I just dont do it.

The email, phone call, the blog, everything will have to wait for another day, a more opportune time. What is going to make the time more opportune, i dont know. But, someday, all these shall be done. Or will fade into oblivion. Sometimes though, such inaction deems any redressal impossible and ineffective. I have lost touch with a lot of friends because of this habit of mine. And i regret that.

Most times, i have never had a problem with what i am and how i am. But, there have been instances when i have utterly hated myself. I read a few blogs recently and wondered at the confidence of the women these blogs belong to. I wish, i too could claim that i am all awesome, and believe that truly. Of course, all my shortcomings included in my awesomeness.

Even when i have had my self doubts, i havent done much to address those. So maybe they dont matter too much to me anyway. Or i am just plain lazy.

I should be accepted and liked for what i am, and i have been. I have a large number of friends. They love me for what i am, and not for what i can be. So, i guess i am ok the way i am.

I think i should write more often.

This morning, there was a certain thought that i wanted to express with great urgency. But now, i dont recall what that was. But I am random that way.

Also, i think i should get back into my reading mode, and i should do that very soon.

I have a number of books lined up in my shelf that are yet to serve their lives' purposes. I should get them out, dust them and let them attain nirvana before the bookworm does.

I hate getting my limbs waxed and eyebrows shaped. It hurts, and the process is very boring. But i got into the cycle. And now i cant break out of it. I whine everytime i have to get this done and make the parlour lady miserable too.

For now, this is all i have to say. When the thought process gets more coherent, i shall write a better post.

Wonder when that would happen!

25 random things about myself!

I was tagged by a friend. I am required to write 25 random things about myself and tag 25 other people. I found it to be very exciting and here's what i got.

1. It took me a while to find "my notes" and start writing a new note! (It was on facebook. I had to find "Notes" in my profile page and start "writing a new note")
2. I carry a pink water bottle to work these days.
3. I can watch any episode of friends, any number of times, at any given time.
4. I love to read. But i can only read when i want to read. I stare blankly at pages when i pick up something to read because i have nothing else to do.
5. I love to procrastinate. This is perhaps the only thing i have done with no delay so far.
6. I hate to use too many "I"s in a sentence. I wrote my self appraisal in passive voice.
7. I totally judge people that wear patched/faded/embroidered jeans.
8. I often make extremely complicated sentences that convey absolutely nothing.
9. I love chocolates. Any kind, any flavor, any color. Can eat any amount of it anytime.
10. I qualify to be a prominent member of Monty Python's ministry of silly walks.
11. I can sing, but people can't tolerate that. That's probably the reason for my music teachers moving out of town the moment i start learning varanams. Happened thrice so far. And i am not giving up so easy.
12. I cant tolerate the green and red wavy lines marked by the spell checker. I diligently add every such word to the dictionary.
13. In my 3rd standard, i used to return home with a stomach ache every single Friday to skip bharatnatyam classes at school.
14. I have lived in quite a few places in India. Hence, have a pretty large group of friends but am horrible at keeping in touch with people.
15. I studied LKG twice! And studied 4th standard in 3 different schools.( Just once this time)
16. I have a pretty good memory of lyrics of quite a large number of songs. I can sing them with not a single word misplaced, but not a note in its place :D
17. I can totally laugh at myself.
18. If asked something i know nothing about, i randomly make things up.
19. I am a huge fan of Azhar, the cricketer. I can also watch any cricket match, any time of the day, any number of times.
20. I suck at sports. (The playing part)
21. I cry every single time i get my eyebrows done.
22. I strongly believe that every human being is basically nice. Only circumstances make him what he is.
23. No, i am not naive.
24. Sometime in my life, i want to be a radio jockey.
25. I am a huge fan of Calvin and Hobbes and am hoping to find a real-life Calvin.

Bonus point. 26. I don't think i will tag 25 people.

Alice in Wonderland?

Every person has his own metaphorical wonderland.
Where i am right now is wonderland for a lot of people i know. But not quite for me. So, I am not Alice? This isnt meant for me? I am not the kind that is ever complaining. It doesn't take much to keep me satisfied. But, am i this time?
So what is my wonderland? Do i know that? Well, the answer to that tricky question has been evading me forever. How many people know what makes them happy?
I spent this birthday of mine with a group of little children in an orphanage. But instead of being happy, i felt miserable. As a child, i was never denied anything that i asked for, or even secretly wished for, by my parents. And these kids were denied their childhood? It pains me to think that their lives depend on the tendency of others around to be charitable! Isnt it our duty to take care of fellow human beings? So why is it charity?
I just crossed one of life's crossroads. but i am not sure if i took the right turn. Actually i had led myself to a place where i dint have a choice but to take this turn. The one that was highly desired but blocked for some people i know. Who probably deserve it more than i do.
I dont know what is going to keep me going. But something has to. And i have to do something to keep wonderland from throwing me out too.
How i wish 42 answered everything! :(
But again, what's the big question?

Cold one leuw

One Mr. R broods (shaayri ishtyle)
(He's borrowed ideas from Vaali, promising to return fresh new ones and added J's flavor and spices, which of course come absolutely free!)

Arz hai
New York town sleeps,
(wah! wah!)
New York town sleeps,
loneliness breeds. (wah!)
Come here, Oh dear!
California beckons, (wah, wah, wah!)
Come here, Oh dear!
California beckons,
For there is a certain special someone,
I reckon!!!
Adaab

PS: Sorry man! For all the liberties [:P] Love ya!

Experiences of a static world

I finally took the giant step. My mother has been urging me to do this for a long time now while my father reminding how regular I have been with my new ventures and how this is going to be yet another very-enthusiastically-begun-and-soon-forgotten emprise. But having realised the importance of the task at hand, I set out to examine all proximally available resources to choose among the best.
The gym i chose looked pretty exciting. A very friendly instructor, lot of equipments, convenient timings, enough reasons for zero-ing on this one. I don't really remember the name of the place, but that isnt important.
I got to meet a few very "interesting" people and a good deal of others that made me feel a lot better about myself and restored all lost hope! Anyway, after the initial warm-up session was a long walk to nowhere and other static dynamics (proud moment!) at the end of which i thought i had no legs. Followed by a few more and this time it was the turn of the arms.
Oh and did i mention the feet numbing experience with the DDLJ machine? The one that has been inspired by the slow motions of bollywood. I am told it is cross trainer, but i prefer to call it this. While you can perfect the art of Bollywood ishtyle slow motion running, you can also get trained on rowing a boat! You couldn't have asked for more. As long as it helps the fat burning process, i dont have reasons to complain.
So far, so good. I just hope I can prove my dad wrong this time!

:D

That just is a little lesser than how i am feeling right now!
A much dreaded interview was faced, leading to greater depression.
Although, deep down inside, i knew that it all had to lead to something joyful, i still had to keep that joy from re-surfacing, as past experiences have taught me to never hurry into celebrations, ever. Then, there were hints of the success to come. And finally was the ever so big confirmation. Just a passing mention, but equivalent to the official confirmation! Plus this was sans the most dreaded personal interaction with the "all mighty"! I couldn't have asked for more. There was no more reason to not celebrate!!
All this and now, there's the excitement of moving to a new cubicle, all for myself. Well, i wouldn't have had a problem even if i had to share it with someone. Its the prospect of a CHANGE that is exciting, as it always has been.
So, yay! i am celebrating!!
:D